this moment of me

This moment of me, feel very down... 
i was too look up myself, 
i thought i can make it, but in fact i can't..
he still can affect my mood.. 
but impossible i can affect his mood.. 
his mood just can affect by her.. 
i don't know what can i do now.. 
i feel lost..
can someone bring me back?
what can i do now.....
i promise myself not to cry because of him anymore, 
but why i cry again.. 
i am so useless.. 
he does not care me at all.. 
but why i still care so much about him....
once again, i feel like this world mean nothing to me.. 
i just too tired and feel like wanna disappear from the world..
maybe i am crazy because keep on updating my blog..
but no one can understand my feeling..
i am now listening to a song, title 我以为 sing by 品冠..
i feel moody, emo, down... 
but no one knows.. 
here no friends, i don't have to pretend happy..
but here have family.. 
i have to act happy... 
is that my life?