all about 28/7/11

dear all subjects, can u all stick me?

haiz.. i still no mood to start study.. 

so do some maths, hope it will help..

but i realise that when i do more, 

the more i don't know..

i don't know how to solve, and keep skipping,

skip, skip, skip, till i give up again..

yesterday saw JW post a photo to 6A1 group,

when i saw it, i feel hate.. 

i know it will be our class page, but i don't like it..

just don't know why i will press the "like" button..

but just now i dislike it already..

i thought just i feel that, but today when muet, nothing to do, we chatting.

then i found out that YN also same thinking with me..

what i feel is, actually it is ok but just hate the bottom center part..

all picture is we taken at school wearing uniform..

just that only one excluded..

it is so dark and that was not about our class..

that is just about their friends' gathering i think..

because just their gang's members only.. 

and we never know about that outing..

THAT IS NOT ABOUT CLASS, BUT WHY INSERT IT IN CLASS PAGE?

muet got 2 periods today, we chat a lot..

we talk about our classmates.. about friends..

物以类聚，人以群分。

recently i like this quote, because it's true..

and about friends, i always hope for a true friend..

i am not greedy, i just need the only one will do..

can be him or her..

can share all feelings, do things together, believe in each other, etc..

but, i don't have, from i born till now, never have,

maybe is my personality problem, maybe my social not good,

or maybe this world don't have true friend..

i don't know.. i just know i can't have even only one..

i believe that lover can do all those things, 

and lover can closer to us than a friend, 

also i believe that lover can last longer and forever.

but that was what i believe only, not the truth..

he had shown to me that i was wrong to believe that..

i take them as my best friends, but they don't do the same..

they got their own best friend and then ignore me..

never mind, i used to it already.. always happen to me eh..

so now, i won't promise my friends that after we graduate, still will contact each other..

because i don't want to make or get a promise that will break off ..

i will try to be friend with JL, since that they boycott her..

impossible i join they all, so i will try to get another friend..

and i want she knows that got people wants to be friend with her eh..

i don't want she feel sad because of losing them.. 

a lizard was in our class, and i told them 2 or 3 times in today already..

hmm.. because i scare lizard.. although it just a baby lizard, but i scare too..

i scare everything eh.. haiz.. so useless..

YS and WC will stay at school to study, 

i was thinking wanna join together or not, because i back home sure can't study eh.

at home with my computer, i won't do other things already..

but at last, when bell rang, i go to her class, but her class teacher still inside,

so i just use hands to let her know i will back home but not study with them..

i don't know why i made that decision, maybe i feel tired 

and also feel like i don't want to be light bulb..

i go and find my "dad", ask her what time she back, 

she told me that she got extra class, oh ya, today is thursday..

so left school after told her i back first..

when waiting bus, i met HY, i told her that hope got 204,

because i can back, and 204 is my favourite bus when i back alone..

but she can't back by that bus, actually i just joking..

then she told me hope got 502 come..

after a few seconds, saw 502 coming. then she laugh to me and back home..

i continue waiting..

202 come, actually when i alone, i don't like 202 because always full of people..

yup it's true, already full and still many people want to enter..

so i give up, since that i know won't rain.. 

after that got 201 at far, i can't see clearly in bus many people or not,

but i saw many people want to enter, so i give up again..

i choose to continue to wait..

but when 201 moved, i saw at front still got place, 

but then got 5 girls walking back here, 

and i heard they said when reach them, 

driver close the door and refuse to fetch already..

i feel so lonely.. and i feel scare too..

don't know why.. i will feel scare when i am alone and lonely..

i feel wanna walk back home.. 

but i didn't do that because feel tired, and no people accompany me walk back..

dislike to wait bus because got many insects at there.. 

i reach home at around 2:30pm..

actually i don't know what i really want..

sometimes when with friends together take bus, sure will wait till 202 come,

because can bring all of us..

sometimes i like it because got people accompany me, 

but sometimes i don't like, feel just wanna back alone,

with all bus that got pass through my house.. don't want to wait so long time..

so actually what i want? i don't know..

but if is my bf with me, i will hope wait for a longer time,

so that have more time to be together..

hmm.. as we grow up, many things have to be done by ourselves..

no people will help us.. 

they said to me, "u are adult, u have to do it by yourself"

hmm.. i saw his blog.. he really feel disappointed on friend..

but actually.. i think that boy was jealous a lot because loves his gf..

maybe the boy think feel that lover is important than friend..

i admit i am also think that way, because virgo is more care lover than friend eh..

maybe he too close to the girl so they boy will think that way..

so better is keep a distance with any different gender eh..

i will always keep a distance with boys, until people ask me is it trying to get far,

and SH also feel that i am too over already..

hmm.. maybe.. but i just feel that keep a distance to avoid any misunderstand or rumors..

but as i know him, i believe that he won't rampas other people's gf, 

because he got his own principle..

he knows what can do and what cannot do..

hmm.. i hope everything will be ok to him..

he cares the most is about friends...

but why his friends want to disappointed him.. haiz...

don't they know he cares friends the most?

i hope i didn't disappoint him.. 

if not, the people who sad will be me.. 

actually few of us also feel that friends won't last longer,

people will change...

so although i still hope for a true friend and a group of friends for long time,

but i know impossible.. what can we do is just to cherish now..

today KK didn't go school, and just now she told me that CH msg her,

ask her why didn't go school, is it sick?

hmm.. i feel that is not bad because he will still cares for her..

i was thinking that if i didn't go school, who will cares about me?

and who will worry about me ?

since that i never absent.. 

as what SH said, even my life just left half, i will also won't absent..

i think if suddenly got 1 day i absent, maybe got something happen to me already..