down day

hmm.. when see that i keep updating my blog, 
it means that i am very down.. 
yup, it's true that today i very down.. 
because of many things and people..
and one of them is him.. 
when i feel down, i will more hope he will msg me..
but it just what i hope but not what i get..
normally i can't get what i hope.. 
it's so cruel..
just now saw him online for a long time again, 
hmm.. what he do?
such a long time he never find me..
maybe he never think of me also? 
i don't know, just himself know only..
i really hope that no matter what thing what happen,
the people that he need is me,
and the one who have the rights to accompany him is me,
but not her...
but i know it is no longer possible..
i hope he will msg me when everytime he reach home,
i hope he will wish me good morning every morning,
i hope he will wish me good night every night,
i hope he will think of me,
i hope he will want me to accompany him,
i hope he will share everything with me,
i hope ........
i hope for many else, 
but i know all my hope will never come true..
today he down, i hope i dare enough to cheer him up..
but, i not dare, i scare.. 
he didn't find me, i not dare find him,
i scare he will feel that i am annoy..
i don't want to let him feel that..
haiz..
but no matter what happen, i will always support him, 
ALL the time..
many pairs break, 
all not the same after break..
KK & CH totally didn't talk or contact each other..
CY sometimes find SJ but SJ totally don't bother her..
PX & SY are still "friend" that all people thought they still are couple..
PK & his ex also are still "friend" that not much people know they break
as they still can study together, go out explore together, eat together, etc..
then what about him and me?
i don't know..
then what i really want?
i don't know..
i don't know anything and everything..
then what i know?
i don't know..
i am thinking of want to change my blog link..
or maybe want to move it to another home?
well, it's time for me to start dream all my hopes..
and hope that my wound won't pain till makes me whole night can't sleep..
specially good night for Xxxxxxxxxxx..