all about 20/7/11

today early morning when my phone alarm ring, i close it..

after that i don't why just feel very tired... 

feel don't wanna wake, so continue....

after few minutes, i suddenly open eyes and look at the time in my phone..

oh my god.. i m kinda late.. 

why do i so tired???

after i think about it, i feel that the reason maybe is because of it is my period week..

erm.. i admit it's true that when period coming, will feel very tired.. 

just don't know why, maybe because lose a lot of blood?

when i reach school after enter class, 

once again i feel that don't know is my heart or lung feel very abnormal..

just like yesterday, feel not well.. 

but i have to sweep floor, who ask today is wednesday?

after that i lie on table... close my eyes...

i want to sleep... but i can't..

who ask me is the type that can't easily sleep at everywhere eh leh?

lie on table, i feel that i am so weak and feel like wanna sick.. 

SH thought that i am down again early morning.. 

and when at assembly field, i saw that he is playing happily with girls.. 

i feel jealous but i keep asking myself to pretend didn't see anything..

and i force my eyes not to look at there.. 

since that SH and YN go see teacher so they not at assembly field,

and CY don't know go where already,

and beside me is he is playing with girls, 

so i walk to the back,

but at the same time, he do the same thing: walk to the back..

but we are just like 2 strangers only..

in the class, maths period, i feel very sleepy, keep yawning.. 

and keep copying what is on whiteboard but i totally don't understand..

and my eyes was full with tears.. 

when KK call me, i turn to look at her,

she feel kinda shock and ask me : " u ok boh? "

i think she thought i cry.. but i am ok.. 

when muet period, i go toilet again.. 

hmm.. seem that muet period has become my toilet period.. 

who ask that muet period always at middle of class start and recess time?

wahahaha.. 

but recently when i pass through his class, i control to not look inside..

because that day saw my senior post on facebook to scold her ex..

say that already break but still always pass by in front of her working place

and look at her.. 

and she feel very hate.. 

so i think that will him have the same feeling like my senior?

that feel hate when i look at him.. 

hmm.. i don't know.. 

so what i can do is just to pretend don't see.. 

i don't want he will hate me.. 

when economic lesson, teacher didn't enter class.. 

but is ah sam take over..

monitor told ah sam that 

Pn.Lee ask us to help to arrange tables and chairs in dewan budaya.

that time actually got FCC photography section,

they got call earlier but my class no FCC girls want go,

so i also didn't go..

but i think of wanna ask about my "dad" the starwalk,

so i decided to go..

she told me that she want ask Pn.Wong 

see whether her fencing can use last year eh starwalk cert boh first.

while waiting, ah sam appear at there..

he ask me go in to help too, then i play play say " don't want la "

but he very fierce to force me go..

when i go in dewan budaya, already almost done and many people inside do nothing also..

after i arrange some, i go out again.

after took photo, we go ed board room find her.. she was cooking.. 

then my "dad" ask her.. she say can..

and she ask my "dad" to join in this year.. i ask her join too,

because if she join, then i can join, can take bus together..

but she don't want..

she say to Pn.Wong that no money..

Pn.Wong say just RM10 only..

then i say no people fetch, 

but she shoot me " so many people can go, why just u both can't? "

then say me that i got hands and legs eh..

then i ask my dad, " walk go? "

then she ask "parents is use for what? ask parents fetch.."

well.. ok.. i speechless.. 

i know i say more also useless as she don't understand..

my parents?? my father impossible fetch me eh, 

he early morning 5 or 4 something already go work..

and my mum don't have any license.. 

my sister impossible will wake up so early just to fetch me go,

as what she said before, don't ask her anything..

and my brother also no license.. 

then me ko kah no need say liao..

2 condition not same eh people won't understand each other..

after this, Pn.Wong suddenly said that,

" go out with boyfriend can but go starwalk can't" 

i answered " boh boyfriend "

it's true right? yup.. although i answer that, but i was bleeding inside..

when got 2 people come in find her, we both quickly escape..

so, i didn't join starwalk as my "dad" didn't join..

when returning to class, my "dad" suddenly ask me

" why ur teacher Mr.Sam so fierce to u eh? "

hmm.. i also don't know.. i just answer her 

" he like that eh, siao siao eh.. "

but i keep thinking about it.. why... and i feel quite sad..

ah sam is still in the class to take over..

actually Pn.Khor got give us works to do and need hand in by today,

but SH told me that ah sam not allow them to do.. 

then he use that period to teach account..

hmm.. after that i saw a group of ping pong's members pass by my class,

but no one come in inform me..

and i totally don't know about it..

i was thinking that maybe it just for AJK..

i feel down in class that time..

because of all of the things that happen in this morning..

suddenly, him, wearing coat come in to find all swimming club's members..

don't know why i feel that he is so yeng and handsome.. 

shhh... i don't tell anyone.. 

because they will say that i am crazy..

when recess time, i asked my "dad" that 

just now is it got ping pong photography section?

she said yes.. 

i ask all or AJK? she said all.. and ask me that no people call me?

yup.. no one..

i feel kinda boh syok and angry..

not because of i didn't take photo, 

it is because of they are not responsible, 

didn't do their works..

them as AJK should inform all of us.. 

my friend also don't know about it..

just now teacher said even non-member also join together..

so, i am not a member?

well.. if my mum ask me why always heard that i stay back so late for ping pong,

but ping pong club don't have me,

how should i answer?

hmm.. after recess back to class,

i had hurt myself.. 

inside my nail bleeding.. yea i make it..

but i hope that it won't be like last time pain till i can't sleep for whole night..

when PA period, it was so boring.. 

then XY came in and call out all RC members,

when we go out, heard some people say all members,

some say just AJK..

well, they all don't want go back to class because too boring till wanna sleep liao..

so we go foyer..

actually we just want to skip class because teacher keep asking us questions..

but heard that they say all just line up..

don't know why suddenly i feel that i am so cheeky 

as i am not AJK..

when stand there, PX suddenly tell me " u still can't put down him "

i speechless.. what can i say.. it's true.. 

about relay for life, they say if join individually, 

after that will also be in a group randomly..

i don't want.. 

we want to form a group, but not enough people.. 

and must hand in by this week, we lack of time..

so what to do? haiz.. 

about prom night, they all keep asking me to go..

what i can answer is, i don't have money.. 

this answer will make myself become so cheap but it's true.. 

SH said that she can borrow me, 

then i can return her after i working or married also never mind.

but i don't like to owe people for long time.. 

because maybe after this year, hard to find back our friends also..

now, i won't say to my friends about friends forever or keep in touch always.

because all of that was just a lie.. 

i know how it taste.. because i experienced before.. 

hmm.. just now when i was bathing, 

my bro knock my door and told me that got 2 of my friends come and find me..

both with specs, 

1 short hair and wearing MBS shirt with blue skirt,

another 1 ponytail and wearing RC shirt with blue skirt..

my bro said when he told them i am bathing, 

they look at downstairs and said " she is bathing "..

hmm.. don't know who are them.. 

but i guess one is my "dad"..

but i just guess only..

by the way, they come find me got anything?

really wondering..

well.. when at school, i ask SH that does her feel i down today?

she answer that i down than yesterday..

hmm.. i admit.. 

i fail my today..

but i will try hard for tomorrow.. 

jia you!!

Aza Aza Fighting.. >o<

SH told me something which i feel funny..

she told me that i look pretty when i smile/laugh..

i told her that she so good in "tham" people.. 

but she told me what she said is the truth.. 

hmm.. suddenly i think of him again.. 

he said that before.. 
haiz.. i feel headache now.. not feeling well again.. :(