8/8/11

last night i was so scare and afraid..
why?
because at night, once i finish brushed tooth, 
i came out from toilet then i look at the TV,
i don't know that it was playing about ghost movie's advertisement..
so when i straight look at TV, it shows a female ghost..
made me so scare..
once i feel scare, i will feel like wanna sms people,
let people comfort me and sayang me..
but i didn't do that at last,
because no one is there for me to do so..


today morning same as last few days, no lights..
so when i waiting bus, there is so dark..
actually quite scare...
but what to do wor? 


after i reached school, don't know why just feel like wanna wait to see him reach.. 
so after i put my bag in class, i stand outside to wait..
hmm.. as time pass by, i still didn't see he drive come..
i wait till 7am, still didn't see..
i think maybe he will be absent today..


hmm.. i don't like my shorty hair... 
i feel that it's too short dy.. =(
today takes photo, all upper 6..
all stand at ground floor, first and second floor..
but the time was 9 something, so hot and the sunlight so bright, 
we have to see the angle of sunlight, it makes all people's eyes become so small..


today recess time, let me heard tiok something about prom night..
heard that their whole class also got partner..
so.. him.. also got right? hmm.. sure eh la..
why i still ask this question leh? since that i know the answer..
and who is that? i think i guess tiok.. 
it makes me so down.. 
why want let me heard that?
why want let me know that?
and i really feel very scare.. 
i hope when people upload photos about prom night will block me from see it..
don't let me to see it.. sure will very very very hurt..


today teacher let us know MUET's objective we correct how many questions..
and i feel disappointed because i am the one who has second lowest mark.. 
then maths marks, hmm.. i satisfy.. 
then about PA, i very worry i will fail..
so when teacher give us objective paper one by one,
i very scare..
i counted it, we must get 18 marks to pass..
then SH get ngam ngam 18 correct..
i told her impossible i will get more than her, 
because i not really know how to do, i just agak nia, not confident will correct..
then she said maybe i can get more than her, 
i said if i get more than her then let her hit me..
then when i take my paper, i was so surprise that i correct 1 more than her..
so let her hit me lo.. 
hmm.. today's result is ok, but the other day............
especially my account....... i feel so regret that didn't write out as i know how to do..
my account sure fail.. 


after school, still got duty..
so as usual i go toilet first..
then use near his class's stairs to go down..
when i pass by, suddenly saw him, in his car...
hmm.. who is the person he wait for?
it makes me think of last time he came after school just to back with me..
but now, who is the lucky girl?
after i put bag in library, so less librarian there, 
so i do a bit thing then go down.. 
when i came down, i saw her pass by..
when i wanna walk to canteen there, i saw him drive away..
hmm.. is it he ......... her, then she .........., so he ...........?
right? 
hmm.. she is the lucky girl?? maybe.. 


today when duty, don't why my hands hurt..
don't know is it sprain, but just feel very pain..
because i carry too much books?
or because i too force to push the whole row of books just to arrange it tidy?
i don't know.. just pain..


i ask president when can us "retire",
he said do till before holidays..
haiz.. we are the last one to retire excluded monitors..
and they say steamboat as farewell during holidays..
but how i go?? no people fetch me.. some more steamboat sure at night eh..


in library, WC and YS was study..
then i saw WC's jacket was on YS's body, i feel so sweet of them..
and i think of him again.. haiz..
i feel jealous also, but the thing that i jealous is got people care,
but not jealous about the person..
don't know in future my bf will treat me that way or not 
because i scare cold and also easy feel cold..


about 2 something, suddenly rain heavily..
i was so worry and scare.. because rain so heavy and lightning, thunder..
i am at school but also expose to raindrop.. 
my hair kinda wet.. 
but why, rain so heavily, the person i first think of is not my mum,
but is him..
why why why???
i think him for what?? 
i know he is not my bf, hmm.. i know..
he also won't cares about me..
but just why???
and i was thinking how i going to back home..
because of puasa, school dismiss earlier,
so we duty till 3pm but not 3:30pm..
those who got people fetch eh really xing fu because they no need to scare and worry..


when in the bus, the few indian girls keep playing in the bus,
langgar me, push me, step on my leg, what else??
not only one times...
is it i look so nice to be bully? ='(
i don't know how to protect myself and no people to protect me,
so, then, just continue bully me la..


don't know why today seem like my whole body pain..
hands, legs, kidney, waist, stomach...... and also heart..