7/8/11

last whole night can't sleep tight again.. 

woke so many times...

every single time i woke, i see my phone, 

although know won't have message,

but don't know why yesterday and night i so hope about it..

but whenever i see my phone, i felt disappointed.. 

because has nothing..

hmm.. what am i waiting for? waiting for a thing that will never happen?

hmm.. i should know that it is what i will get..

yesterday my sis go pacific wanna exchange for milo's van..

but fail because other people change till finished already..

then today, 

early morning,

sis fetch mum go there just wanna to exchange..

so bro and me don't have breakfast..

but then again, many people wait to get it and they fail to get..

haiz.. i want......... where else can get it? saw my friend get so many..

her dad go seberang prai to get it for her..

and she say maybe tesco...

so far wor.. can't go there ler...

but i want it....... haizzz.. =(

i cut hair again.. 

hmm.. now i own shorty hair.. 

seem a bit like tomboy.. 

but of course i am not la.. haha..

i am just look like only..

my heart is still a girl.. 

a weak girl which need people to protect..

or just cut botak then go to temple to be a nun?

hmm.. good idea also.. so far no people want me mah..

maybe in the future also won't have? maybe lo..

hmm.. ok la.. be a nun also good mah.. won't hurt by any boy..

mum told me that when my hair longer, i look mature, 

and said that i look cute with short hair..

hmm.. mum always say that kind of thing to make me happy eh.. 

but i know i am not la.. 

today lunch is cooked by bro.. 

because mum and sis not at home..

hmm.. he cook very nice.. love it so much..

my friends jealous that i have this bro.. haha..

they say he very sayang me wor.. got meh??

hmm.. don't know.. maybe no, maybe got.. 

now, don't know why suddenly feel wanna eat something..

but nothing for me to eat wor.. haiz..

so hope that tomorrow teacher will say that upper 6 librarians no need to duty anymore..

but i think won't so fast gua..

she likes to torturing librarians eh..

every people say she is good,

but all librarians will say she is worse than before eh library teacher..

i scare my result.. i don't want to get it..

because i know account sure fail, PA maybe fail, then the rest don't know..

next month exam again.. 

but once i back home, i can't study..

yup, i can't study at home.. 

because at home got a thing which call as computer..

and then got a website known as facebook..

AAAHHHHH.. 

how how how???

sometimes feel like don't wanna back home so early, 

because at home can't study..

but no people accompany me stay at school study..

erm.. actually YS got stay, but she with her bf eh, 

i don't want to be light bulb la.. 

and some more also no people accompany me back home so late..

although even back early i will also back alone,

but if so late back alone, i will feel scare and worry..

but don't know what i scare of.. just a kind of feeling..

sometimes wanna do maths, but how to solve it?

when don't know how to solve, then feel don't want to do already..

Ooopppss.. i still owe SH and YN the answer..

they ask me do then borrow them..

but i just can do chapter 1 and 2 only..

and not all i can do.. just some.. how wor.. haiz.. 

if i am clever then good lo.. but why i so stupid leh?

this words can't let they know.. 

because they won't believe, 

they keep say i clever than them, 

because they look at exam results..

well.. what i want to say, just, i am not clever..

everytime i get better result than them does not mean i clever..

because normally i can get good result in school exam, 

but when the government exam, i will get a bad result..

as SPM, my teacher also not satisfy with my result, 

she think i can get better..

but actually i get that result, i never believe that i can get eh..

maybe because school result ok, so all people thought that i am clever..

but in fact, i am not..

hmm.. why i keep say about this thing? 

they don't believe then never mind la.. 

why i care so much wor..?

i kinda worry about my health..

recently hands so easy to wrinkle..

brush tooth a while also will like that...

what happen actually??

hmm.. now listening to my favourite song which ever made me cry..

oh ya.. hmm.. that day morning, when take shirt wanna wear,

randomly take,

then after that i realise that, the shirt i ever wear when hang out with him..

and he said to me i wear that shirt look so cute.. 

haiz.. 

last week i made many dreams, and all about him..

i didn't write it, because the next day was exam day, so i choose to skip..

don't know why my hand pain from morning till now..

what happen?

dear hand, can u please stop pain?

u pain i also pain ler.. 

hmm.. temporary nothing to write liao gua..

hope tonight won't be down..