i am a normal human

i feel that people all around me leave me slowly.. 
they make me feel that they treat me like an alien.. 
but a am just a normal human like all of them.. 
i am just quite stubborn in relatiohship's thing.. 
i know its already 9 months, but i still unable to put down..
i know many people look down at me and leave me.. 
i know they all can easily put down.. 
but not all people are same like them.. 
every human have it's own characteristic..
i am the kind of 重感情, i can't easily forget about the past..
and my heart is still remain the same.. 
once i love a people, i won't easily change.. 
even if he do not love me in return.. 
just because i am not same kind of people with they all, 
they don't even understand me.. 
they look me like an alien or worst than that.. 
they leave me and don't bother me.. 
ok.. what i want to say is that i am just a human.. 
i am just stubborn.. 
stubborn people is abnormal?
i feel hurt when friends treat me this way..
that day, my friend read a book and got a story is almost same case with me,
then she show it to others, then ask "u know who i mean?"
then another 1 answer "sure la, so obvious.."
well.. i am at there too.. 
i know they mention about me.. not i think too much..
but it is the fact.. she let me see it before that too.. 
then today, when SH reach school, 
she ask YN want to change place with her or not,
then YN say don't want..
then another people said "sure don't want la, stupid ka want nia.."
hmm.. am i really so annoying to them?
i felt so hurt that being a friend will say out this in front of me..
although she is not a close friend, she is just a classmate, 
but why i feel so hurt? i can just ignore what she said right?
after school SH and me walk out together,
she will not go to school for more than 1 week.. 
so i will be alone.. 
when walking out, headmaster just get into car and reverse..
i was behind the car.. 
nearly knock me.. 
luckily SH pull me away from there.. 
if not what will happen? hmm.. i don't know..
anyway, thanks her.. 
why i always don't know "see car"?
even on road also.. 
hmm.. i not really know how to cross the road..
when i waiting bus, i saw 2 of my friends come,
but they didn't come and find me, 
they stand behind me, quite a distance.. 
then i go and find them..
but then they didn't talk with me..
i feel that i am just transparent to them.. 
even bus come, they don't care about me too.. 
i remember that day, got a people ask me,
"why they keep on talking and seem like ignore u?"
hmm.. a good question.. i also want to know.. 
but i just answer "maybe because of my characteristic is quite 孤僻"
but actually just no one bother me.. 
at home, i comment on a people's status, 
then the status owner warn me.. 
why i feel so sad? i can don't bother what.. 
i feel like this world is no longer belong to me..
i feel like wanna to leave here and escape to a place which no one know me..
i know no matter how hard i try to not emo, 
in their point of view, 
an alien is an alien, won't change.. 
i know many people talk about me.. 
even i change, they will have a new topic about me to talk about also..
am i really so bad till they all want to leave me and don't want to bother me??
or just i think too much?
but this kind of feeling won't fake.. 
many people around me, but who really take me as a friend?
no need say as a best friend, just normal friend, who?
this few days morning i lie on table wanna sleep, 
then today i only know that they said i down every morning recently..
hmm.. sleep also say me down??
and they said that i down because of those things again.. haiz..
ok.. i mention again.. I AM A NORMAL HUMAN!!!
i down not only for those things..
and also not every morning.. 
human need sleep, including me..
and every morning i reach school so early although that's not what i want..
try to think about it, if that they all reach school so early, what will they do?
sleep too right??
even those reach school late than me eh also sleep immediately when reach..
MBS is just a hell to me.. 
it's so horrible.. 
i don't know who really treat me as a friend from heart, 
who treat me as a friend but hate me from heart..
when i face problems, i don't know who can i tell and talk to..
last time any problems, i will talk to him.. 
but now i can't anymore although i want to..
because last time he care everything about me while loves me,
now he won't care any single thing about me.. 
what i can do is just keep tahan only..
write on facebook also is my fault.. 
no one for me to talk to so i write it, but it makes me hate by them.. 
WHAT CAN I DO TO BECOME A NORMAL HUMAN TO U GUYS?
I FEEL SO TIRED.. 
I WANNA LEAVE...