all about 25/7/11

today when i woke, the first thing appear in my mind was,
OH MY GOD!!! it's raining!!!
i hate morning rain because that is the time that i go school..
sometimes if rain, i will ask XF to fetch me go school,
but i feel very paiseh, feel like disturb her.. although she say never mind..
just don't know i feel that.. maybe not so close gua..
after i reached school entered class, i felt sooo cold..
the fan was point to 4, and i switch it to 3,
but then still cold, i switch it again to 2,
actually i still feel cold and feel like wanna to straight switch off,
but they sure will kill me if i do that eh..
because they don't feel cold.. just me nia..
i felt so boring because nothing to do,
so i came out from class and stand at outside, looking at the sky..
i felt kinda disappointed because i can't see any star even one..
whole sky was full of cloud, no stars...
i was thinking that if possible, i want to have stars in my future room..
every night look at the stars, hmm.. so nice right? hehe..


i accompany YN went to check their perabot eh thing,
heard the lower 6 guy keep calling her as "韵宁"..
hmm.. they change name for her? wahahaha..
i ask her why they keep calling her like that, she said don't know..
but she said that they call her as "韵宁" is better then they keep call her "主席"..
haha.. i feel kinda funny..


whole day in class i felt very cold.. 
and i was regret that i didn't bring jacket..
but sometimes i feel bag is heavy so i won't bring even cold, 
because when take bus back, need to carry more thing..
but there is no one got bring jacket, 
even got, they won't borrow me also la.. 
and sometimes i just feel like son't wanna to bring, 
although very cold.. haiz..
hmm.. this few days backache, hope it won't become more serious..


when SH reach school, i feel that she kinda down..
and when we stand at outside together as usual, 
she go away and stay alone..
i am sure that she down.. 
i try to make her up.. 
because she won't easily down eh, but today she down..
and finally we success,
she said thanks to us, 
i felt so happy, not because of she thanks me,
but is because i can make her up back,
although last night i was felt so down..


CY told me that badminton competition final all changed to today,
i want watch but i got duty.. how wor? 
that day they said ping pong competition is compulsory to all members,
but i haven't pay, they already arranged who fight with who..
so i can't join already..
then how about my marks wor? didn't join so no marks dy.. haiz..
so disappointed..
and i feel that i am not their member.. 
i told them i want join before, but they ignore me..


during muet, i went toilet, as i said before, 
muet period become toilet period to me..
then teacher gave me the pass, 
when i was returning to class, i met KC, so i pass to her..
then a arts 2 guy pass through, he laugh and ask,
"like that also can ah?" haha.. why not?
after i back to class, CY told me that i "stole" teacher's pass,
because teacher can't find it when KC ask permission to go toilet..
haha.. herself gave me eh but forgot liao.. 
then CY ask is it i took it then teacher said maybe..
i feel funny when CY told me this..


when maths lesson till 10:30am, i told SH that i wanna go for rest liao..
then she ask me be a boy to act as form 4 eh..
but then heard people say 10:30am is their recess time over,
hmm.. mean that time is just prefects' recess time..
suddenly i told SH that, 
i got prefect's tie.. 
wahahaha.. 
she feel sweat when i said that.. 


since that CY and YN are sit in front of me,
now whenever i see they both got talk and laugh together,
i will felt happy also.. hope their so many years' friendship won't easily end,
although few days or weeks ago got some problem appear....
during PA period, when teacher ask JL question,
she answered but not in complete,
so teacher want she answer completely..
i look at there, maybe she not so know how to answer, 
but among them, today 1 absent, 
then another 1 look at paper, 
another 1 look at her a while but didn't say anything,
another 1 taking paper from LH,
no one helps her, i felt very sad about it, 
although not me, but just don't know why feel sad..
maybe they really don't want be friend with her,
but as a classmate, why can't just help her?
but after that i saw LH telling her something,
then JL give answer..
hmm.. i felt kinda happy because at least LH didn't boycott her..
actually what i heard is, LH is neutral eh, 
both side also ok.. 
it makes me think of when CY didn't talk to YN eh time, 
i don't know what to do as both also my friends..
and then i ask YN that will her mind that if i still so friend with CY,
her answer is won't, and it makes me feel release..
at least all still are my friends..
i feel that now i already unable to make new friends with anyone although i want to..
because i don't know how to communicate.. 
sometimes wanna find something to chat with them to make friend,
but i don't have topic to chat.. 
and i feel that new eh won't better than old eh.. 
i will cherish my old friends more than new friends.. 
don't know why, maybe feel that friends can't trust eh.. 
suddenly think of last time i told him that friend is come with a "end" at the end..
then he told me that just make it be "fristart"..
hmm.. don't know why i still remember this although more than 1 year already..
maybe is because that was he told me eh gua..


i don't know who success enter final in badminton competition,
i just know about YQ + LY vs Pn.Khor + Mr.Richard niah..
i feel wanna watch this, feel that it will be very nice..
and i think of what Pn.Khor said that day.. haha..
CY also wanna watch their fighting..
she purposely stay at school eh..
so bad ar her.. every Tuesday ah sam class she don't want stay,
but this she stay.. 
and she jio me eh.. 
so i ask her when they start, come to library call me, 
and i think today i was insane..
when they all sit there and curi tulang, 
i was still busy to arrange books on bookshelf,
because it was too disorder, and i feel hate when saw it..
hmm.. i said before that don't wanna care about it, 
but when i saw it like that, it makes me wanna to arrange it tidy..  
and around 3pm, CY came in and told me Pn.Khor reach already,
because that time just left she not yet reach..
then after a while, i only go and watch, by using my recess time..
when i entered dewan shaw, they already started..
first round i forgot the marks already but i remember that was YQ + LY won..
then second round ko kah yeng lo..
both fair.. which was 20:20.. 
suddenly teacher start to hit the shuttlecock come, 
but YQ and LY seem like don't know or what, 
both also just let it fall down..
so second round won by teachers..
then the third round, 
more nice..
from stating, teachers get about 18 (something like that),
and YQ + LY just get about 11 niah eh..
but then they suddenly win one by one, and become fair with teachers,
which is 19..
then at last guess who win?
wahahaha.. 
let me say la.. 
is YQ and LY win.. 
guess correct or not? haha..
after that YQ comes to here, 
so i shake hand with YQ to congratz him and CY do the same also..
at the same time, i saw Pn.Khor look to us..
i feel kinda sorry to her..
hmm.. 
actually i not rely got support anyone..
just come to watch only..
will Pn.Khor thought i support YQ then don't want let me study economic during her lesson?
wahahaha.. 
YQ said that normally if less than 3 marks with the opponents,
then will lose eh.. 
but they less than teachers about 7 or 8 marks, 
but then still can win.. yeng lo..
hmm.. this was my first time watch badminton competition live.. haha..
i never watch live before eh..
and through this, i saw and learn something..
about how they encourage each other when lose,
how they share their happiness when they success to beat down opponents together..
and i saw that when they start every single battle, 
they use small energy but after that only use shoot eh..
and maybe others more...
today i only know about it..
after that, i feel that i become more like badminton already..


when wanna back home, i walk out with CY 
because i feel that she alone if i didn't with her..
and about those friends that i join together,
they already got 3 people..
i feel that so i accompany CY walk out till opposite school..
she told me that tomorrow herself, SH and YN may not go to assembly,
haiz.. so just me alone...
and don't know will those friends feel that i not so join them already..
hope they won't feel that and will understand me if they are really my friends..


just now dinner time, i ate alone at kitchen, i didn't switch on light..
i ate in dark..
and i drink 1 and half bowl of soup since that my mum's soup so nice..
shhh.. don't let her know, 
she might scold me because i drink so much..
but actually the bowl that i used was not big eh..
and recently i don't like mum cook eh vegetables,
because she everytime also put in garlic which in hate the most and can't eat eh..
haiz.. so geli.. yuck... >_<
hmm.. seem that sometimes i will hungry till max,
but sometimes will full till max..
hope my stomach won't got any problem in future..


ah sam just now near 8pm uploaded notes,
tomorrow want it le, 
how i get it???
haiz.. 


tomorrow stay till 3:30pm again.. 
alone again.. no people accompany me back home..
haiz.. down.. 

='(

as what i said, i will keep updating my blog when i am down..
he just updated his blog, 
and all about his "sis" again.. 
feel so hurt to see that.. haiz..
hmm.. 
he call his car as babe..
whenever he call his car babe,
i will think of last time that when he call me as babe..
when he started to call me as babe, 
he some more ask me will i mind..
hmm.. sure won't.. because i like it so much..
and feel so sweet when he call me like that..
another thing that appear in my mind is,
we playing the word "babe" in class..
he keep writing babe and i keep stopping him..
it was a sweet moment for me..
and i was very happy that time.. 
but all is past tense already..
and i know it will not happen to me anymore..
just 1 more week time to reach my exam,
honestly, i haven't start to study..
totally no mood, no heart, no motivation..
what happen to me actually?
why me like that?
i not really understand what teacher teach also..
i hope got people can teach me..
haiz.. 
they are so close..
and this makes me feel hurt..
but besides hurt, i can't do anything..
hmm.. just let it be.. continue to get hurt.. 
used to it..
the only way out..
haiz.. 
='(

randomly..

last Friday, 
after school, i got club, KK also got club,
then suddenly we met in toilet,
then we chatting..
she told me that she know CH wanna chase which girl already..
and she told me that the girl is chinese society too..
and told me her name.. 
i know she very mind about it, 
although seem that she is very optimistic, 
but she still care about it..
she ask me that girl pretty or not,
hmm.. i saw her picture at facebook before, quite pretty..
but i not really can recognise, when i am in the class for chinese society,
i look around, and saw 1 girl seem same as the photo i saw,
so i just feel is that girl..
and during activity,
CH came in to class few times although he is not member,
he came with some people, all is lower 6,
he came in join lower 6 there..
after i back home, she msg me,
she ask me CH got go chinese society or not, 
so i tell her the truth..
then she keep on asking,
i told her that CH came with a group of people eh, 
then she seem feel better because not only they both..
after that, she ask that in the whole group just girls or got boys,
i said got boys too..
seem she feel better again..
but she told me that she cried when saw CH accompany that girl walk to the gate..
hmm... i can understand her feeling..
because i also cried before, just because saw walk in with that lower 6 girl together..
she have this respond and ask me those questions, i didn't feel curious or weird..
because i done before.. i will do the same thing as what she done..
she keep saying that she want to put down, 
but she still care all thing about him..  haiz.. same as me..


yesterday i wear FCC shirt + pants + sport shoes to school,
seem kinda abnormal.. 
and i scare people will thought i am a boy since that i wear like that..
and when i at home, my sis ask me "u wear like this to school ah?"
haiz.. but i have no choice, since that wanna save money..
i not same as others drive by themselves or got people fetch..
i am not such lucky..
i have to take bus.. 
i also don't wanna wear that to school, but ... haiz... 
some more have two more times..


sometimes when i keep listening to sad songs, 
my bro will ask me "why u so down?",
but yesterday, i listening to fast and kinda hot eh songs,
my bro ask me "why u suddenly so rock?"
hmm.. which type of songs i listen to, my bro will also ask me wor..
feel funny.. 
i feel that mandarin songs is easy to learn if compare to english songs..
because english songs i listen many times but still can't sing well.. 
i think i should listen more.. 

feeling..

sometimes, 
something that u hope and wish and pray hard to get it,
but u will fail to get it..
but sometimes,
something that u never expect u will get it,
will suddenly some to you..
it makes u feel so surprise about it.. 
u might feel happy and feel that u are so lucky..
but, unfortunately,
it comes to u, but u fail to take it..
this is what call as tragedy..
yup, it's true..
i never expect that i will get it and already gave up,
but then it suddenly comes to me, 
i feel surprise and kinda happy, 
but then i fail to go and get it because it is so far.. 
i am at Penang, it is at KL..
it quite valuable.. 
but just i can't go KL.. 
hmm.. have to wait after 15 August to know about it's details.. 
i can't tell anyone, and i feel like don't wanna tell anyone.. 
just my family know about it.. 
or maybe people who very close to me then i will tell.. 
hmm.. but then i have to consider this as lucky or unlucky?
lucky that it comes to me but unlucky that i unable to get it..


just now i received a msg, 
again, it was from the same number as last time.. 
i don't who is that, 
and don't understand it's content.. 
seem like codes..
i really wanna know what is that.. 
but how i gonna know?
so weird..


i was curious that how i start to love someone so deep.. 
because to me, now, impossible i will love anyone..
i feel curious that why i can love the guy so deep 
until don't bother what people say how bad he is..
and he can makes me feel that all about him is perfect
and makes me can forgive anything that he done..
hmm.. few months ago,
got rumor said that KS likes me, 
i hate about it because they keep "suan" me..
and i find out that i not hate people "suan" me everything actually..
because if people "suan" me with someone i love, maybe bf, it will makes me feel sweet..
but then if they "suan" me with someone i don't really like, it makes me feel hate..
SH was curious that is it KS really likes me or just rumors only,
then she dare to ask, because SH also feel that KS likes me, 
after that SH told me that "u cham liao.."
hmm.. what i can say? actually i don't like KS.. 
sometimes i will keep myself away from KS..
and he is not the kind of i like eh.. 
maybe myself don't know which kind is i like eh, 
but i will just compare guys with my first bf..
and i find out that they are not same with my first bf.. 
maybe because of this so i won't like or love other guy easily..
because they are not him..
i will want my future bf has all he has, 
treat me the way he treated me..
hmm.. Friday KS sit at SH place which is beside me,
then i walk away and find CY, tell SH, then go toilet, 
after that when i came back to class, SH sit back her place already,
then she told me that she told KS that because he said likes me last time so i will repel..
and she said she asked KS that he still likes me or not, and KS's answer is no..
hmm.. better.. 
actually we feel that KS quite easy change heart and won't likes a girl for long eh..
hmm.. why i say as "we", because not only i feel that..
because of something happen at the past, so make us feel that..
actually i hope my bf will hold my hands 
or put hands on my shoulder or hug my waist no matter walk to where,
especially crossing the road.. (because i not very know how to cross road eh)
that will makes me feel more "an quan gan" because will feel he is beside me..
but, last time he didn't do that when there was a lot people around..
he will just do that when no people or less people around only..
i hope my bf will hold me and walk around,
i want let people know that i have a lovely bf..
last year 1/12/10 i go out with him, i hope he will hold me for all the time,
but he didn't do that, and i also didn't say this to him, because i love him,
so although he didn't do what i hope, also never mind..
and i just want him to be himself, 
but not because of i want so he has to force himself to do.
hmm.. that time i want to hold him but i feel shy so i didn't do that..
after that i feel kinda regret.. i should do that eh.. 
that day SH told me that i need bid size eh bf so that can protect me well..
hmm.. maybe she is right.. 
but then i feel curious that, school have some chubby guy,
and they make me feel sick.. just exclude him.. 
he is the only chubby guy that i feel perfect..
maybe because love him gua.. 
as what people say, 情人眼里出西施..
but why now he no longer loves me but i still care about him... 
haiz..
hmm.. feel good after express my feeling..


yesterday when account class, 
they discuss about cars..
i don't know what they talking about, 
because i can't recognise cars' name and type..
hmm.. i hope got people teach me about that.. 

all about 12/7/11

last night i was feel sad when he laugh us that is including laughing at me.. 
she laugh on us, it's ok, i don't mind,
but him too..

i am speechless.. 

what should i respond? 

morning i was dreaming but my phone's alarm woke me up.. 

today is saturday, but i went to school, for account extra class..

sister bought us bihun, 

i ate it around 8am, but then 9am++ i already felt very hungry..

when i reach school at around 8:30am, i got nothing to do..

have to wait for half more hour..

i saw my "dad" was sitting at there, because they got wushu,

but her leg sprained, so she rest..

then SH, YN and CY was there also having training..

but they don't want to attend ah sam class..

can say as i am alone..

i sit beside KP and YC, but got nothing to say..

just keep quiet for whole account class,

i think in that 2 and half hours, i didn't talk more than 5 sentences..

when 11:30am, lesson dismiss, hmm, i very hope got people accompany me..

but of course no eh..

so as usual take bus back home..

this extra class last for 3 saturdays..

so have to attend 2 more times..

hmm.. account so many extra class as every tuesday 2pm to 3:30pm got already,

saturday got some more..

i am always worry about what if it rain.. 

if it rain when i am at home is ok, 

but if rain during i go school or back home,

it makes me feel worry and don't know what to do and feel hate..

when back home, got the sound pollution which is don't know which house is repairing.

my mum told me that luckily i not at home for whole morning..

i open my speaker till very loud, to cover the sound pollution..

i played english songs which my bro don't know eh,

so he played mandarin song with his laptop in his room, 

then mum open TV and that time got hokkien songs,

my mum was so like it.. 

but i don't like, hmm... not totally don't like, 

i like some of the hokkien songs eh.. but very few..

so i fight with mum by open my speaker louder, 

then mum also don't want to lose so she turn on TV sound louder, 

but then i turn on speaker more louder, 

and finally she close my speaker.. wahahaha.. 

i still can open eh mah.. but let her win lo.. 

since that she so happy mah.. 

hmm.. i will feel satisfy when see mum laugh like this.. 

3pm got something happen that made we all unhappy.. 

after that just left bro and me at home nia because sis fetch mum went out..

then we watch REBORN.. hmm.. continue battle.. nice.. 

about 5pm something, something happen...

it made them argue, and i felt very scare and sad..

i don't want this happen..

but what can i do to stop it? i can't do anything.. 

i am so useless.. 

they argue for quite a long time.. 

just because of a small matter..

i really feel so scare.. don't know why..

if last time, i sure will msg him, 

and he will comfort me with his sweet words..

and it will made me feel better..

but now, i can't, i have to face it..

although very scare inside, but i just have to scare alone already..

maybe i am the type of dependent, so i will always hope that,

everything also can tell someone that care about me and sayang me.. 

hmm.. when my dad eating, 

again, he asked why his soup so bitter..

i said as again, is because he asked many times already..

whenever he ask that question, we have to lie to him..

although it's not good, but what else can we do?

straight tell him that we put medicine in his soup?

we can't.. because he don't admit he got mental problem..

although now seem ok, but doctor said have to keep on.. 

everyday we have to find something just to put in the medicine for him to eat..

everytime he ask why so bitter, we hard to answer.. and feel scare too..

sometimes he will ask us to taste it.. 

sometimes he will eat not finish then ask us to finish it..

but mum asked doctor before that we can eat his medicine or not,

doctor said can't..

but sometimes dad keep ask us to eat, we can't deny..

because he will always ask that and do that, mean he suspect already..

if we deny till the end, he sure will know.. so.....

but the effect after eat it is, feel not feeling well and sleepy and dizzy.. 

that is what my mum told me.. 

because normally she will be the victim,

yesterday, he ate left, but luckily bro at home,

so mum and bro share it.. each people half.. 

got 1 time more serious.. that is my mum cook for herself and dad,

but she take wrong, and hence ate the one got medicine,

so what happen?

that is my dad can't sleep,

but mum feel not well and dizzy and slept for whole evening..

haiz.. because of dad, last year so serious, 

so made my bro forced to enter private university,

it costs a lot, so now i not dare to take money from mum also..

when i want take, i feel guilty.. don't know why..

so got any event, although i very hope to join, but i will force myself to deny..

because of this.. 

last time dad always said don't want to work already, 

so if one day he suddenly really don't want work, 

it will be a burden as income less but outcomes much..

and i do not have pocket money,

so sometimes i finish my money to buy food in school, 

i feel not dare to get from mum also.. 

i feel guilty..

sometimes feel like don't want to eat... 

straight tahan till back home.. 

but i won't let mum know, because she sure scold me eh..

she not allow me to do that.. 

hmm.. my friends outing won't ask me, 

maybe because i always deny,

maybe because i no money,

maybe because i no transport, 

or maybe because i am not their friend..

whatever.. 

maybe will feel kinda down when know that they went out but didn't ask me,

but maybe it is good also that they didn't ask me,

because i don't have to worry about transport and money problem..

and no need to think about the reason to deny as i am not well in how to deny..

when i listening to my mp3,

some people will ask me how much it costs, 

hmm.. i don't know how to answer as i don't know the costs..

because it was come to me by free.. 

that was my bro win eh.. 

but i don't know he join what to win it..

that day got people ask me, so back home i ask my bro, 

but he don't want to tell me..

hmm.. if it is not free eh, impossible i will own it..

because mum won't allow us to buy this kind of thing,

and impossible buy for us..

because it is expensive..

hmm.. i really thanks bro a lot..

because he won it but gave it to me..

i feel that although i still will feel disappointed whenever see my phone no msg,

but seem that i already be used to this kind of feeling..

so what i waiting for? wait for a miracle?


haiz.. backache again.. 

how good if got people help me to massage.. 
laugh also will pain.. sigh..
but why i think of him? maybe because he was too good to me.. 
had sweet memory before..
but then it won't happen now..

hmm.. everyday for sure i will update my lovely blog at least once..

it become my diary.. 

and it is my privacy..

so i can just write whatever i want.. can express my feelings..

but sometimes feel pek cek when i writing but mum come sit beside me,

she sit beside me, then i can't write.. 

唉

好像很久没用华文了。。

今天，YN告诉我，

我现在就像是一个躲在一间空房里，

空房里什么也没有，只有四面墙，

和一个门而已。

钥匙只有我自己有，外人想要进去也进不到，

她们无法帮我打开拿到门，

因为她们没有钥匙。。

她说，我应该要打开房门，

踏出第一步，看看这个世界，

这个世界还很大。。

他问我“难道你想一直就住在这只有四面墙的房间里？”

我自己也不知道。。

我只是无法面对。。

我没有勇气将门打开。。

没有勇气踏出去。。

他做的一切，我还是很在意，

我以为我可以不在意的，

但我发现，原来只是我太高估自己了。。

嗯。。

他说过要绑住一个男人的心，就要绑住他的胃。。

是的，我承认，我绑不到。。

而她，成功了。。

怪谁呢？怪我自己吧。。

虽然他说过愿意一辈子煮给我，

但他说过的话，他或许都忘了。。

只有我记得。。

all about 22/7/11

don't know why this few days so tired.. 
maybe due to period week..
hmm.. every morning, i so hard to wake..
and when reach school in class, i will lie on my table.. 
feel so sleepy.. 


when assembly, announce that starwalk today still can hand in,
hmm.. it makes my mind confuse again..
and after assemble return to class,
ys purposely take a form for me.. 
when recess time, i ask my "dad" whether she want or not,
but she don't want, 
so no people can fetch me go and back,
no people can accompany me take bus also.. 
although the time is almost same as i go school eh time,
but go school is the way that i familiar and straight go into school when reach.
but time square there, i not familiar with it,
and also not sure stop at where.. 
and when reach, if there no people, i have to wait alone as sky not yet bright..
it will be so horrible to me.. 
i am scare.. 
even i dare, i sure that my mum won't allow also, 
because it's so dangerous.. 
WC told me that, i not suppose to so depend to other people..
he said i not necessary have to follow people as they didn't go then i didn't go also..
hmm.. yup i know, but, just don't know why, i feel no "an quan gan".. 
so i didn't join.. 
many people said that i am too dependent..
they said i have to be more independent.. 
i want too, but i just can't make it..
and SH always says that, i will marry very early as i am so dependent..
hmm.. but no people want wor.. so impossible eh la.. 

never thought that our economic teacher has success to enter final in MBS close,

so yeng wor.. 

they ask YQ attack teacher, but teacher said that if YQ dare to attack her, 

then he no need to attend economic lesson liao..

she is so bad lo.. say like that.. wahahaha.. 

when economic lesson, i saw him and his class eh girl pass through,

suddenly i feel kinda down..

+. always call me as 古风 ,
why will i have this name? hmm.. 
it is because that day chinese society they write all members' name on whiteboard,
purpose is to let juniors use the rub whiteboard eh to throw our name,
then have to introduce ourselves..
because of i sit together with ys them, so when they write, 
they wrote ys's name and my name very near,
then her cousin purposely throw at her name, 
so i "buta" tiok also lo..
then when they call my name, lower sixers laugh..
they said thought is 古风 ..
because they wrote 吉 look like 古..
that time i felt very boh syok because they laugh me..
after that day, 
+. always call me that name.. 
at first i don't like it,
but slowly i can accept he call me like that..
because i feel that it's not so bad actually.. 
today he call me like that again, i told him no this people,
then he said 古风 is 吉风 eh didi.. 
haha.. when chinese society, i ask +., where is 古风?
then he simply point to beside me which is no people eh..
then i also act by put my hand on "his" shoulder, 
then he continue to act that he hit "him" away, 
oh no! my didi... 
then i "pull" "him" back.. 
wahahaha.. crazy.. 


hmm..
at 1pm something++, i go arts 6 class as no people inside,
just to try my luck, look from the window to downstairs, 
see whether can see him at there or not..
>o< i saw him at there with his friends and teacher..
hmm.. he won't know eh.. 
since that i can't disturb him, so i just can see him when he don't know..
like that won't disturb tiok him eh.. 
i saw him for a while, till WM found me at there,
then i went back to chinese society.. 
after that his car not there, hmm, he back already..


today's bus driver drive till so horrible.. i am so scare..haiz.. 


CY ask me wanna watch final or not, hmm, maybe i want..
but i don't know when.. 
if is on next wed, we maybe don't have tutorial wor, 
then wanna wait?
but then i have to wait also, 
because teacher say ping pong competition is compulsory for us..
hmm.. i not sure yet, because i neither write name nor pay..
so see how first la.. 


although tomorrow is saturday, but have to go school, for extra class.. 
our class just 14 people going only, and all of them are not so close to me eh,
so, tomorrow i am alone.. haiz.. 
hmm.. i use to it already.. always like this eh.. 
really hope got people accompany me, 
even just few minutes also not bad.. 

random

Saturday got extra class, shall i go?
but seem no people accompany me.. haiz.. 
why always like that.. 

today both secretary complain to teacher, 

president and vice president of ping pong didn't do anything,

all works they do.. 

then say about photography, they say wanna retake, 

because that day secretary was absent,

and also teacher not satisfy as non-member also appear at there.. 

whatever lo.. 

today only i know that among 3 culprits in our class,
2 of them already tiok fire from warden liao..
no wonder they didn't go for warden photography section..
today 3 discipline teachers went to arts 2 to spot check..
heard that big happen, but i not really know what is going on..
just know that, that time teacher got something to do and left from class,
but when 3 discipline teachers pass by, we all "shhh" n keep quiet..
feel that it's so funny..
hmm.. shall i happy or sad that he talk to me?
i kinda confuse.. 
about prom night, 
LW ask me, memory and money, which 1 more important?
well, i know is memory, but, i feel that is can't do anything eh, 
no money no talk.. 
i not same like my "dad", her mum and sis support her go,
and sponsor her.. and she will get extra money too.. 
recently i feel kinda happy when see CY and YN got talk and laugh together,
just like last time.. how good it be.. 
but another, about JL, i kinda pity her..
haiz... 
hmm.. don't know why, i feel like wanna bite him..
people said that girls like to bite their bf 
is because wanna let them know how pain if boys leave their gf..
last time i scare he will pain so i not dare to bite hardly..
he don't know how pain i will be, and don't care..
so that's why he go away.. 
hmm.. got a song is name as <That's Why You Go Away>,
i love it so much..